Ro's POV after incident

After the “incident”, mom’s body was identified; she was really dead. I can’t believe I’d be sad even though it was Christmas. Who would have thought karma would strike me this bad after thinking ill of my big brother?
I hate my tears, which won't stop. I hate the snow, the holiday, even my father who quickly changed after her death. He started smoking, drinking and gambling at the same time. He even became violent and irrational. He seems to despise everything, even me, his own son.
Things only got worse between us- the gap has become irreparable. I started to rebel against him soon as I stepped in my adolescent years. I drank and I smoke but I resolved to never turn to violence like how he did, I would never hate unreasonably.
When I turned 15, dad got badly indebted because of his gambling and I was the only “thing” he’s left with to pay the shady dealers who happened to be involved in human trafficking. I was sickened by the thought and would have fought them off, if only dad wouldn’t be killed, if only refusal wouldn’t mean suicidal. He’s all that’s left for me, after all; I have no choice but to turn myself in.